What Would Your Father Say?

Yes, once again it has arrived. The day set aside each year to honor our fathers. Personally, my dad has been gone for some 22 years now… but I still miss him. I used to say that I would trade 5 years for five minutes with him – but as I get older, the list of questions I want to ask him grows longer and longer, and I realize that five minutes wouldn’t even come close. So, I suppose I’ll have to wait until I graduate from this life and move on to the next. Still, I look forward to it and miss him very much.
While he was alive, Father’s Day was never more than a bottle of after shave (whatever was on sale) and lunch… usually one that he either cooked or paid for. I usually felt like it was a chore to observe, as my father wasn’t much for ’special’ occasions. (To this day, neither am I!) But as I’ve grown older, adding the status of grandfather to my resume’, I’ve come to understand that Father’s Day means a lot more.
When I was a young man, I always felt like dads were just getting the raw end of the deal – either they were giving you the money to buy their gift, or they were paying for their own ‘celebratory’ meal. Either way, all it ever cost me was time. The finance always came from dad. But, now speaking as a seasoned father and grandfather, I can see things from the perspective that my own father no doubt always had.
It’s never about the gift, nor about the money that gets spent on food or whatnot. It’s all about the time. And trust me, it’s well worth the cost of a nice meal at a good restaurant to get to spend a couple of hours with my kids (and grandson). All the time I was feeling like my dad was getting gypped with that brand new bottle of Aqua Velva – which was usually the cheapest after shave/cologne at the grocery store – I realize that he wouldn’t have cared at all if I didn’t even bring a gift. The gift he wanted, and the gift I will always want, is the time. Everything else is secondary. And always will be.
As my kids were growing up, I always used to ask them to make cards for me, rather than buy them. There’s something to cherish in a card made with those precious little hands that Hallmark can never duplicate. And, far too often in my own life, those cards in the mailbox were my entire Father’s Day commemoration. And I loved them, each and every one. Not because of the paper, or the crayons, or even the wonderful words carefully scrawled on the page… but because of the time that was spent to make them for me.
That’s the best stuff any father could ask for.
May God bless each of you on this Father’s Day. Sure, I’m still a scrooge and a half and strongly oppose those businesses out there who just want to exploit family time. But try to spend a little time with “dear old dad” today. After all, time is the most precious gift of all.
Much love.

“I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me – they’re just, like, ‘I can’t believe you don’t remember me!” I’m like, ‘Oh Dad I’m sorry!’” – Ellen DeGeneres

“I once complained to my father that I didn’t seem to be able to do things the same way other people did. Dad’s advice? ‘Don’t be a sheep. People hate sheep. They eat sheep.’” – Margo Kaufman

“He always came to save me
from the bad dreams that I’d had,
a shining knight in cotton armor…
Yessir, that was my dad” – Jeff Jeter