I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.
‘Man, that guy is stupid,’ I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here’s why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That’s 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the total number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, females drive half of these. That’s 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That’s 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.
That’s 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered homicide.
That’s 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That’s 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
Give her the finger? I don’t think so.
Try to have a great weekend… I know I am! God bless!
“Most men are within a finger’s breadth of being mad.” – Diogenes the Cynic
“And that, my friends, is why they invented tinted windows.” – Jeff Jeter
Posted by Joe on June 26, 2009 at 10:50 pm
I think I passed that woman this afternoon. Mean looking broad, too!
LOL… I was married to that woman!
Posted by anon4him on June 27, 2009 at 10:40 pm
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!! Good post!!!
Thanks, Sis! Glad you liked it! :->
Posted by Tony on June 28, 2009 at 2:46 am
Gee, I wonder if that’s the same woman who came around the corner on the wrong side in a car park once & said to me , “Get out of the way you stupid old fart!!!”
Very well thought out & mathematically proven too. Foghorn Leghorn once said to a cat on the issue of dividing up a worm “That’s mathematics boy, You can argue with me but you can’t argue with mathematics!”
I had a wife who used to say that same thing… now I know where she got it! LOL!
Posted by thecanvasgrey on July 6, 2009 at 9:42 am
Too funny and interesting because I seemed to get cut off by men more than women. ha!
LOL!
Posted by waven on July 9, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Wonderful post, Lofter … thanks for putting a big smile on my face.
You are most definitely welcomed, my friend!